Falstaff took a look at the unofficial listing of the UK´s worst places to live – and found out that not all is doom and gloom.
There is a somewhat unusual ‘Top 50’ list that is published annually – the unofficial listing for the worst places to live in the UK. This is undertaken by the satirical website iLiveHere, which polls in excess of 100,000 people annually. In fairness, every country on earth has its own individual listing for their worst places to live, with many of the UK locations featured appearing regularly in the poll.
Part of the problem seen in many of these towns is down to the small minority of people who seem to lack civic pride or social responsibility. These are the ones who think it is acceptable to look at town centre waste bins as ornaments and prefer to throw their take-away remnants on the street. Or the towns that ignore the problems of underage vaping, or have an abundance of middle-aged men who find it acceptable to walk around in ill-fitting shorts. Then there’s the building owners who, whether for financial reasons or simply through lack of care, allow their premises to fall into a state of disrepair – all these factors add up to making city and town centres appear extremely unappealing.
Empty and shuttered shops cannot be blamed on residents. Often, the cost of rent and business rates make them an unattractive and unaffordable proposition. Whilst councils can’t be overly oppressive and dictatorial, many could do more to encourage and incentivise healthy retail activity. And landlords need to appreciate that it is better to let their property at a reduced rate rather than allow it to sit unoccupied, something that helps make the centre unattractive to shoppers who, after all, are the lifeblood of any urban retail environment.
In reverse order, ten down to one:
10. Bradford
9. Bournemouth
8. Swindon
7. Andover
6. Aldershot
5. Aylesbury
4. Slough
3. Portsmouth
2. Peterborough
1. Luton
Luton, Peterborough, Slough and Aylesbury regularly appear on the list each year. However, some form of defence is necessary as in fairness, it has to be acknowledged that every town has its own share of good aspects, as well as those bad aspects that result in its inclusion on the list.
We’ll take a quick look at the ‘top’ five ‘worst’ towns on the list, again in reverse order:
Awarded Garden Town status in 2017 and home to the Roald Dahl Children's Gallery and the Waterside Theatre, noted for hosting many top-class productions, Aylesbury is located in central Buckinghamshire, midway between Milton Keynes and High Wycombe. The town also gives its name to the famous Aylesbury Duck with its pale pink beak, white plumage and bright yellow feet. The town is also home to the world-famous Stoke Mandeville Hospital National Spinal Injuries Centre, and noted for being the birthplace of the Paralympic Games that have been held after the main summer Olympics since 1988.
Despite sitting at number four in this list, Slough has the highest concentration of global company UK headquarters outside London, with its trading estate being the largest in private ownership in Europe. Some notable UK head offices within the town include Black and Decker, Burger King, DHL, Lego, McAfee and Nintendo. However, it’s not all about modern offices, and with 96 listed buildings the town has no shortage of classic architecture.
Slough is just 20 miles (32km) west of the centre of London, two miles (3km) north of Windsor Castle, and five miles (5km) from Heathrow Airport; some unkindly saying a great escape route (although the more convenient London orbital M25 motorway is but a short distance away).
The town is noted for having the most diverse ethnic population in the UK, and this is reflected in the cuisines readily available, as well as a reliable local economy with low unemployment. The town also has the largest Tesco Extra hypermarket in Europe. Sadly, the crime rate is above the English national average which probably contributes significantly to the town appearing on this list. Perhaps the saying “home is what you make of it” might apply and help the town. However, it suffers from a council that has not got the funding it requires.
Portsmouth, technically an island city (Portsea Island), is the most densely populated in the UK. Those visiting and heading for the waterside might immediately think what a great place it is rather than the third worst place to live. Isambard Kingdom Brunel, one-time Prime Minister James Callaghan, Charles Dickens and Peter Sellers all hail from the city.
Dating back to Roman times, Portsmouth was the location for the first dry dock ever built and boasts an incredible naval legacy; a Royal Navy dockyard for centuries. It is also home to the National Museum of the Royal Navy where HMS Victory (Admiral Nelson’s famous ship), the Mary Rose and the Royal Navy’s first ironclad warship, HMS Warrior, can be visited. The iconic Spinnaker Tower observation platform by the harbour is the tallest accessible structures in the UK outside of London.
As an unusual factoid, the IBM HQ in the north harbour area is so large that it has two individual UK postcodes. Sadly, there are many shuttered retail premises, but as a retail, accommodation and dining experience, overall, Portsmouth really shouldn’t disappoint many.
The really bad press Peterborough receives is that of a London commuter city, with those returning home take the seats of long-distance travellers for the first hour of their journey out of London. It has a very active theatre scene, a quite thriving city centre, the largest arena in that part of the UK, and plenty of entertainment options for the entire family. It also has a magnificent Gothic cathedral that shouts out to be photographed, and plenty of landmarks (perhaps not necessarily a top priority for residents) as well as sports opportunities.
However, where it falls down are the many minor annoyances that really do rub residents up the wrong way. The biggest of these are the parkways that are meant to make commuting convenient, but just end up as an ongoing irritation, with walking anywhere outside the confines of the city centre a complete nightmare.
Other niggles are a lack of easy parking, a train station that is too small for the numbers using it, and having a large upmarket supermarket, Waitrose, in close proximity to the station just doesn’t help either travellers or shoppers.
There can be no doubt that some areas of the city do exhibit deprivation, and the council is on the government watch-list regarding its finances, which does not put any manner of positive spin on that deprivation. A lack of public support from a council due to financial constraints will always guarantee a low score for any city or town.
In fairness to the voters who placed Luton at the top of their ‘bottom’ list, many observers have said for years that the town has more roads coming out of it than going in. It has an international airport (main UK base for EasyJet, TUI and Wizz Air) with a recently opened shuttle into the town centre: £4.90 for 1¼ miles making it the most expensive train trip in Britain, not helped by the airport being one of the first in the UK to charge an ‘entrance’ (passenger drop off/collection) tax.
In the 1800s there were 500 hat manufacturers in the town (down now to only 10); it was also the HQ for Vauxhall Motors, one of the oldest vehicle manufacturers in the UK (the UK division of General Motors prior to its takeover by Peugeot-Citroen in 2017), building the Frontera, Vectra and Vivaro van in the 1990s (it now only builds the Vivaro).
It is home to the magnificent Luton Hoo Country House and estate, with gardens landscaped by Capability Brown. There are many attractions outside the town. However, having worked there myself for several years, I do have to concede, rather sadly, that while I can defend the previous ‘losers’, Luton tends to be a deserved winner of this particular accolade.
It would appear that it’s not all gloom and doom, although this is a view from a visitor as opposed to a resident’s perspective. And while “home is where the heart is”, it seems to be civic pride has given way to a lack of council finances, discarded fast food containers and thus resident complaints.
